Just a Crazy %^#&%

So Yesterday was pretty okay i ended up missing and not watching the rest of E3, but from what i have read it wasn't much to see, once gain Microsoft dominated E3 and i sense another bill gates take over. so i surfed the web played around with some pix and was pretty chillin. For some reason cleaned my room YAY i have a floor again! when my mom came home she said she had something for me and turns out she got me the sims 3! totally wasn't expecting that. she had told me the night before she wasn't going to get me that. So i stayed in one spot till 11:30 when josh got home then i switched to my room with the laptop and continued playing the sims.. What a laid back game. ^.^
When i was finally starting to drift asleep josh decided he wanted to have a serious conversation. I was instantly grumpy and said some harsh things which ended in us finally falling asleep at like four in the morning. I love him to death but i mean you cant expect me to be civil at 3:30 in the morning. With school in the morning! Now today he has been in a weird mood all day..I wanted to tell him i didn't want to destroy him mentally because i tend to do that t everyone i know, and if i got to much to handle i wouldn't hate him if he decided to leave. Not saying i wouldn't be heart broken but i know i Have issues and i can be almost impossible to be around. I cant tell Reality from what i make up in my head, I space on very important things, I hear voices at times which puts me in a very distant state, and i can cut myself off emotionally from people instantly and not feel bad about it. I KNOW i have issues and im tired of those things affecting people around me. But i couldn't get it out to him that i wouldn't hate him if he chose that. But i don't wanna lose him and It would suck...basically so i kept my mouth shut.

So im very tired from not getting a whole lot of sleep last night and will greatly appreciate not having school tomorrow so i can sleep!! <3