So school is almost out!!! I can't wait for summer to officially be here, I need a break from the school stress and junk that comes with it. Plus i will have more time to job hunt. In 4 days my mom leaves for Cali and that couldn't come quick enough. It seems like right before she goes on vacation she gets that much crazier and it bugs me that much more. Yesterday she was in crazy bitch mode for most of the day. i wanted to scream and go find somewhere else to go. but i sweated it out by ignoring her the best i could and focused on whatever i was doing on the computer. When people first meet my mom they think she is really cool and I'm just a whiny teenager about her but. Everyone i know who has spent more than a month in my house knows I'm not being dramatic. They all see her for the psycho she is. and then apologize to me for doubting me. I know she has issues with my dads death and the mood swings caused by the morphine being constantly pumped into her. but i mean my god there is a line. it got so bad yesterday with her trying to yell at either me or my sister we actually teamed up in a way and refused to comment on the other one. Which never happens. BC we hate each other remember. That's why i know she is getting bad...

On top of that josh had another emotional episode not last night but the night before. Like he cant take life anymore and i really don't know why. It instantly gets on my nerves and i wish he would quit acting like he is or go somewhere else. Like seriously i love him to death but if he keeps that up i cant deal with it. I have problems of my own and i don't need to worry about him killing himself over nothing. like he doesn't even know why he is upset. i know HE has issues with my ex but everyone does. Not just him i have them ten times that with my ex and i don't act like that...Well at least as dramatically out in the open as he does. when he got home from work he told me "make me leave" i was like wtf why?? he said he didn't know...UGH i hate relationship issues. And weirdly enough wen watching hes just not that into you i realized i have never been dumped.? do i have commitment issues?? i know my relationships normally last pretty long time. but I'm starting to wonder...That scares me i don't want commitment issues i have enough already!!!!!