I hate that you Breathe

This morning started off reasonably well, 15 minutes late to school but that was about it. Felt real good waking up this morning no dreams nothing this weekend chilled with my brothers a little, but this morning josh took the back roads down 7th street to university instead of the highway and i was looking out the window and saw someone walking up the 7th you know probably nobody special...but no i thought i was hallucinating and i just finally gone crazy and thought it was mike..but no josh starting to laugh and i was like damn it is mike. I immediately looked aright ahead and lit a cigarette praying he didn't see me. so much just slapped me in the face i have been trying to get rid of but its impossible everyone i talk to now seems to have something to say about him to me..I DON'T CARE i am trying to work my way trough the physical and emotional scars that man left on me and i don't need to know that he hangs out and face to face and tells ppl he still talks to me...So i asked josh if he saw us..And he says yeah he turned around walking and stared....MAN!! just hopefully he maybe didn't recognize me...RIGHT! goddamn epically since that dream i had when i woke up shaking i have been more paranoid out and about than normal and this just Almost broke me completely.. i feel as if im about to have a panic attack and not looking forward to the bus ride home today...OMG why am i making a big deal outta this..it was no bug deal...I just think im losing my FUCKING mind...

HOPEFULLY valley fair tomorrow will put me in a better mood and help me forget...